exploring the narrative of my life--identity, grief, parenting, choices--by reflecting on the stories of friends and family...
From Memory to Memoir
I know that I am lucky that Karen and my mom share the same overall feelings about what happened to us as a family. I know that I am fortunate that in telling my stories, I have two family companions and that I have learned to listen better to myself.
My heart aches for those whose families have fractured into more pieces than mine, who don't have anyone to say to them “yes, yes, I remember that!” or have people around them who discount their truth and memories.
Standing in Time
I think in calendars. I can often picture my week ahead on my work calendar, naming what each day holds, meeting by meeting. I can look ahead in my mind and know whether next Friday contains any evening commitments, whether on a random day in April my older son has a tennis match.
To Speak of Grieving and Ungrieving
Over four years ago, my husband (then just 43) was diagnosed with stage two kidney cancer. Jason had a significant surgery to remove the kidney and surrounding tissues and then was told there was an 80% chance it wouldn’t come back. If it did come back, it would probably be elsewhere in his body and then we would talk about how long they could stretch his life with other treatments.
My Walk-Up Song
“What would your walk-up song be?” I heard this question twice recently–once related to sports and once related to presenting at a national conference. I wasn’t the recipient of the question, but in both instances I knew what my answer would be–”Nada que perder” (“Nothing to Lose”) by the Mexican group Maná.